Are you a Growlmama?
GROWL-MA-MA [GROUL-MAH-MUH] - NOUN
A person who prioritises the comfort and desires of their little growler (read: dog) above all things; including partners, friends, family, or any social engagement to which their beloved pooch is not invited.
Typical Growlmama behaviours include; prepping home-cooked doggy dinners; throwing pooch parties; chatting to one’s dog and shopping for doggy gifts “just because”. A Growlmama will not hesitate to fork out more on their dog’s hairdo than their own and has been known to seek out holiday accommodation for their pup priced well in excess of their own vacation digs (but only if they absolutely cannot take their mutt with them).
While “I’m sorry, I can’t. I’m staying in with my dog tonight”, is a common refrain of the Growlmama, Growlmamas are not, by definition, anti-social and typically congregate in packs at local parks and beaches. It is here that Growlmamas from all walks of life are united by a mutual need for doggy amusement and a common understanding that there is no bigger love than the love of a dog.
Take our Quiz to confirm your Growlmama status
1. How many of your neighbours have you met?
a. I don't know anyone within a 60m radius of my place apart from my drycleaner.
b. I've met the guy next door but only because he locked himself out.
c. I know Lulu, Pearl, Seymour and Henry, but they are all dogs.
2. It’s Friday night, you are…
a. Preening for a night out with your bitches.
b. Taking your mutt for one last walk before you head out.
c. Staying in with your pup. You’ve been at work all week so it’s only right that you spend the evening together.
3. You’ve just returned from you’re summer vacation, who are you more happy to see?
a. Your mum.
b. Your boyfriend/girlfriend.
c. Your pooch.
4. Your idea of a fun day out is:
a. A lovely long lunch with friends.
b. Shopping up a storm.
c. Both a. and c. - provided I can take my dog.
5. Most of your recent purchases have been for
b. Your partner.
c. Your dog.
6. You go to take a picture, but your phone is full of snaps of:
a. Weekend shenanigans.
c. Art and architecture.
d. Your dog.
IF YOU ANSWERED MOSTLY A’s or B’s: It’s probably best you get a cat.
IF YOU ANSWERED MOSTLY C’s: Congratulations my friend, it appears that you are a committed Growlmama. Be heartened that you are not alone. Now, go and give your pup a great big cuddle: you’ve been ignoring him for at least five minutes.
Image: Hedder Selda